It's been a long, long time since I looked into the mirror
I guess that I was blind
Now my reflection's getting clearer
Now that you're gone things will never be the same again

There's not a minute that goes by every hour of every day
You're such a part of me
But I just pulled away
Well, I'm not the same girlYou used to know
I wish I said the words I never showed

I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me

You know that silence is loud when all you hear is your heart
And I wanted so badly just to be a part of something strong and true
But I was scared and left it all behind

I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me

And I'm asking
And I'm wanting you to come back to me
Please?

I never will forget that look uponYour face
How you turned away and left
Without a trace
But I understand that you did what you had to do
And I thank you

I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me

` ♥ 11:49 PM

***


i'm just so darn tired.

why does life drain us like that?

` ♥ 3:58 PM

***




i wish i could go back to the very first day i saw you.

i was surfing friendster as a sneaky anonymous character and it amazes me how much people have changed. suddenly i realize how i hadn't seen some people for dino ages. one got married, the other one went abroad, juniors graduated to colleges. it's funny how i hadn't seen them for so long but yet somewhere in my heart, i still do care the same way for these people.

i'm still concerned about whether couples are still together. i get upset when i discover some have gone their separate ways, and fearful that some might. and of course, i feel relieved and secretly blissful to know that some are still together after 6 long years.
its almost as if i can feel their joy and i share that joy. perhaps that the main reason why i believe that relationships do work out.

do you ever grow tired of someone?

it seems right to say that it has been a long time. but then again, i don't think that it's long enough a period. how can i ever measure eternity? it feels so real and vague at the same time.

i made a promise to myself; that someday, i'll run away. someday.
to some where far and foreign. i like the tingling feeling that fills me up when i'm somewhere unfamiliar. it feels so void but yet so strangely satisfying at the same time.

i miss the smell of sun warmed grass. it reminds me of my childhood. have you ever smelled that scent? it's raw and refreshing. so clean, warm and innocent.

i'll like to roam the streets alone. as the night falls, i'll embrace the loneliness. i wouldn't care less if the emptiness overwhelms me.

carelessness
i'll just embrace it; just as it is.

` ♥ 1:10 AM

***




tonight's a beautiful night. breathtaking views.
its so pleasant to meet people with depth (:

now i wished i could write and fully express myself with words so eloquent and descriptions so beautiful.

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

Pablo Neruda


` ♥ 12:32 AM

***




i'm not emelia or vanessa. and i'll never be.

life will be so much easier if there ain't comparison. i admit there are times i feel very lousy about myself and everything's like crap. but then again, this is the way life is. there will be times when everything seems to just go all so wrong.

like now.

fly me to canada. nowwwwww.

` ♥ 11:58 PM

***

there's nothing you need to know.

and so it is the shorter story
no love, no glory
no hero in her sky.

bern{x}
cheryl{x}
gwen {x}
janice {x}
mayb{x}

June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006